Defendant in LAWS1206 take-home “definitely guilty,” 80% of Health Science students agree

An overwhelming majority of prospective medical practitioners have voiced their conclusion on the recent Criminal Law exam. Through a complex process of intuitive reasoning and common sense, over half of Burgmann’s science students had noted the “obvious guilt” of Darren, the hypothetical defendant, within 4 hours of the release of the legal reasoning task.

A number of residents also took time out of their ENGN1211 studies to raise concerns for the judicial capabilities of the students actually sitting the exam, who could not discuss the issue until the conclusion of the exam. “I mean, he did a bunch of cocaine then killed a guy. Sorta messed up if the point of the exam is to defend him.”

Several PPE and International Security scholars have come forward with a subversive “not guilty” verdict, citing the utilitarian incentives to allow Darren to walk free. This radical position has been attributed to a struggle to adjust to their minority status in the undergraduate student body.

Others have abstained from declaring a verdict, though the college has declared its intention to maintain its embargo on discussing other courses for the duration of any Law exam. Many have expressed interests in reforming this policy to exclude the total noise ban in hallways, though BRA currently lacks the fees to fund a referendum on the proposed change.

Sources are yet to confirm the extent to which the wider college community has been implicated in the exam, though several Village residents have allegedly demonstrated knowledge of the fact scenario.

It remains unknown where the non-law students gained access to the exam, though analysts have traced the original document back to a locked filing cabinet left in the 1H bin room.

More to follow.