“I love staying in Canberra over the break,” resident overheard whispering to self in empty dining h

A College resident has been overheard insisting on the autonomy of their decision to remain in Canberra over the mid-semester break. Their comments did not appear to be directed at anyone in particular; indeed, bystanders reported the student was repeating the phrase under their breath, a practice which our cultural analysts have likened to a Tantric mantra.

When approached and questioned, the resident insisted that they were “totally fine” and “loving the free time”.

“I’ve been so productive this week, it’s amazing how much you can get through when you really, like, make the time. I’ve watched 3 seasons of Black Mirror in the past few days, I really feel like I’ve had the chance to catch up on the things I was behind with at the end of the term.”

“And obviously the food is better! At first I thought it tasted better because I was using food as a replacement for friendship. But now I’m pretty sure they’re just using better quality cuts of meat. Plus I’m getting pretty close with the dining hall staff.”

“And honestly the best part is getting closer with people you haven’t spent much time with before” he said, waving at two passing first years. While no reciprocal wave was noted by our reporters, the resident maintained that they had been “honestly so underappreciated” during the term.

When quizzed, he reported that he had spoken to them for the first time the previous day. “We actually have much in common. Like, we’re both from Sydney. And we both love Gang of Youths.” When invited to provide further evidence of their similarities, the resident declined to comment.

Sources are yet to confirm reports that the student has repeatedly circled the first date of Term 2 in both the Red Frogs and Burgmann Nude calendars.