Burgmann paper cup supplies dwindle, Residents’ Association purchases Indonesian rainforest to meet

The Burgmann Residents’ Association has brokered a trade deal with the Indonesian government to purchase 10,000 hectares of rainforest in Kerinci Selbat, Sumatra, to supplement paper cup production for the college’s dining hall. When consulted, Treasurer Ben Saxton conceded that the college’s IAC budget had been scrapped to accommodate the agreement.

This decision has attracted criticism from factions within the BurGreen militia, which have characterised the event as a "flagrant destruction" of "heritage-listed natural resources".

When contacted, BRA issued the following statement:

"In the interests of upcoming renovations on certain residential buildings, Burgmann has public policy incentives to take a relaxed view on the societal construct of heritage listing."

The deal follows the introduction of disposable paper cups in the college dining hall, allegedly to compensate for a critical shortage of communal crockery. The location of the missing kitchenware is yet to be confirmed, though randomised mug busts on undergraduate rooms conducted by the Kitchenware Gatherers of Burgmann (KGB) have yielded minimal results.

The KGB is currently lobbying to extend its jurisdiction to the residential hall's Postgraduate Village.

The crisis has prompted a stark increase in environmental activism among residents, with a 200% increase in Ikea trips in the last two days alone. “This is frankly an affront to sustainability at this college,” said one resident found disembarking from a Land Rover yesterday afternoon. "I've bought 40 Fargrïk cups for my floor so we don't have to succumb to this institutional waste culture."

Green Representative Siena Hopkinson confirmed this morning that Ai Wei Wei has been commissioned to produce an artwork in protest of the decision. Though the piece will not be displayed until the college’s upcoming Parents’ Weekend, Wei Wei has announced plans to fill 231 paper cups with the tears of all housekeeping and kitchen staff unfairly charged with the recovery of the kitchen’s porcelain mugs from residential rooms and remote kitchenettes.

The piece will be installed around the perimeter of Postgraduate Village.